Goodbye Virginia

April 20, 2015
Westfield, IN

It was the way the fire warmed my back as I dug my feet into the cold, wet sand. The sounds of crashing waves mixing with laughter and bouncing off the night sky above me, formless and unending…It was the way the cold air felt as she slowly slipped into my arms for the first time. The smell of rain and pines, and the warmth of her beating heart…It was the way my friend’s eyes teared up as I said bye to her for what may have been the last time. Her old hands holding both of mine and her voice echoing through my head, “You’re a good boy Chris So, I know you’re going to do good things”…

A good friend of mine once told me that loss was good for a person as long as they could extrapolate the lesson from the pain. He also told me that too much loss could destroy a person. This past year has had a number of hard losses for me. I lost my cousin Junior last February to a drunk driving accident, Laurie and I parted ways in January, my sister lost baby Harper and I came close to losing my Grandpa to a complicated, diabetic mess. I felt like a lost soul and got dangerously close to being lost to a greater darkness. What saved me was not just learning the lessons the pain had to offer, it was also embracing love wherever I found it. Losing Junior showed me just how much my family meant to me. It’s horrible to think that it took losing my cousin to open my eyes but I have not looked at people in my life the same since. Right away I applied a greater sense of closeness and appreciation to them and my friends but it wasn’t until Laurie and I split up that I truly woke up. It was like my chest had been cut open and all of my love, confidence, strength and security had been drained from me only to be replaced by sadness, anxiety, abandonment and fear. It was like I was wearing a pair of glasses that I didn’t know about, filtering my perceptions to feed my blind idealism. As they fell away I started to see life much more for what it was. Suddenly my sun and my stars had disappeared and I had been left to wander the vast empty darkness of space. Then Ivy lost baby Harper. Witnessing so much hope and promise suddenly end turned me inside out. The sheer amount of emotional and physical progress one makes during life was cut short for Harper, extinguished and never given a chance. It broke apart anything I had left mentally and I became an exposed nerve to the full gamut of human emotions.

I opened my head and my heart to those around me. People who had been a part of my everyday life suddenly became the worlds that filled my empty space. My coworkers at REI became my friends and then, before I knew it, became my family. Once my eyes had been opened it was easy to see just how much another person was going through, how much they had to offer. Be it positively, negatively or unclear - we are all going through something. And I learned that if a person was willing to share a part of them, even just a sentence with you - you had become part of their world. Be brave enough to share yourself with someone else and it is limitless what can happen. My Smithsonian family and my NoVa family became even closer to my heart than they were before. Amplified by the reality that I was literally packing my life into my truck and driving to Oregon, I became hyper aware of the changes we had all gone through. It was the little differences. The new haircuts, the new hobbies, the nose rings that made me aware of the changes. For the last month my schedule has been filled with breakfasts, lunches, dinners, beers after work, day hikes and coffees that never had the chance to happen. For the first time I was listening and talking to my friends with a clear and open mind, receiving each word, each idea, each story with the levity and weight of last words. I realized just how far away I was going to be from them, just how bad of a friend I have been these past years and just how much I loved them. Above all I realized that I wished that I spent more time with these people in my life.

For my family I felt a level of understanding and love I hadn’t felt before. As my departure grew closer I found myself talking to them as old friends, as equals. It was amazing to feel like I had caught up mentally with my mother and father and aunts and uncles. We talked about work, life, love and next steps and damn it - as hard as it is to believe they are pretty cool people. They have been through it all. 39 years ago yesterday my father was being forced from his home in Phnom Penh my the Khmer Rouge forces. He lost his home, his town and his entire way of life. At my age he was just getting to the U.S. Having survived the war he was working multiple jobs to put his siblings through school because he knew that this was their second chance at a good life.

The passage of time is unconditional. It affects us all equally. This was my first adult relationship, my first goodbyes, my first time driving this far alone and my first time this far from home. To say that I am terrified would be an understatement. But I know that taking the leap into the unknown is exactly what I need to do. I have learned so much from so many that I need to finally take the next step and get out there into the crazy wide world. The world is smaller than we may think, but it is also big. Our grandest gestures can hardly make a mark but our day to day decisions can make huge differences in the people around us. Everyone is doing their part to fulfill their life and their aspirations and the fact that we are all existing right now and are feeling and thinking and living together right now is something to be at awe about.

Something that I realized as Essie held my hands and said goodbye to me in the dimly lit, front desk of the SMSC resident hall was that there are moments in life so much greater than ourselves. She is the nightshift security at SCBI that would run into me every once in awhile as I sat in my truck staring at the Smithsonian logo on commissary tower late at night. It was usually a night where I couldn’t sleep and wanted to be alone with my thoughts. Over time we became good friends talking about our families, our lives, our hopes and dreams and our realities. She became a kind, grandmotherly figure to me and I looked forward to seeing her security truck turning the corner and I would walk with her as she would make her rounds. On one of my last days at the facility I saw her entering the school as I turned the corner. I hadn’t seen here in 3 months, I couldn’t believe my luck and I ran out of my truck to see her. She said, “Hun, where’ve you been?”, and I told her that my job with NEON had ended and that I was going to Oregon now. She ushered me into the building so she could write down her email for me and I began to cry. Because I realized that I wouldn’t be sitting in front of the commissary anymore. I realized I wouldn’t be walking with her to check on the leopards and I wouldn’t be there to talk about her dog and her husband. I realized that I had no idea at all what was going to happen to me. To me, this was very possibly the last time I saw my old friend. The simple and pure connection we had as she held my hands as she said goodbye meant more than anything I had ever felt before. To me, the simple fact that two totally different lives can, for a moment, intersect and become close enough to make parting so painful was so much bigger than my own existence. It was like every problem, stress, thought that I had at that moment had melted away and I became part of something grater than the both of us. We can reach out and at anytime be a part of someone else’s life. Their attention. Their world.

It is this feeling that has made saying goodbye so hard for me. Every kind gesture a friend or family has shown me this past month has nearly brought me to tears. I found strength in reasons, place and people I didn’t expect to find it.

My good friend Sean Lacey helped me realize that there are always two sides to everything,

“See beyond your circumstances. These hard goodbyes are a testament to your character”.

Erik Larson, a man who I want to very much hold onto in my life, told me this about keeping people in your life,

“I think that’s what’s beautiful about life. We can’t really control the timing of things, when we will meet someone, when we will do something. It’s almost awe-inspiring to see the people in my life working on themselves…Humility and Passion has taught me to hold onto people more. To see progress you learn from people you stay connected to and hope that they can learn from you…Focus less on how you feel and more on who you want to be”.

And I learned from my beloved brother, reasons to be brave,

“Just know that you’ll always have a support system in Fairfax, VA. In fact you have support systems around the States and the world. Never feel alone. You’ve always acclimated ridiculously quickly to new situations. So there is no doubt in my mind that you’ll take Happy Camp by the twigs (horns) and eventually become the top person there. In no circumstance will this transition to the west be easy. I think you’ve just got to tough it out until you can get out of here. The distance will do wonders, the road trip will clear your mind and the work will keep you moving forward personally and professionally. People get up and move to other cities and never look back under circumstances far worse than yours - think abusive/unsupportive parents. Just know that all your family is healthy and *relatively* happy. You’re setting such an example for all the younger cousins to not be afraid to pursue your passion especially in a foreign place. For these reasons and more you must be strong when we’re with them.”

More than ever before I can see how time and life carries on. Life is long, but it is also short. All we can do is hold onto people and be good to them while they are in our lives. As I embark on this trip to the west I will carry on my back not the weight of goodbyes, heartache and fear but the weight of the love and support all of my friends and family have given me and I will blaze a path for myself fueled by the belief that, there is nothing in this world as beautiful as courage.  

Let’s run into each other again some day,

Chris

It was the food, the beer and the empathy. 

It was the family I never knew I had.

It was the lights, the music and the love of my oldest friends.

It was the breeze, sweat and pain of biking 32 miles to sleep under cherry blossoms. 

It was holding onto the people that never let you go. 

It was the shittily taken picture that perfectly captures out friendship. 

It was the collision of worlds that were meant to collide. 

It was the delicious steak sandwiches and life talks. 

It was saying goodbye to the facility and to my three best friends. 

It was being part of a strong family and paying respects to our fallen brother. 

She Lit a Fire

I’ll search the world until there’s no place left to go.

Saturday February 15, 2014
15:20

Front Royal, VA - One month has passed since I began my internship here at the Smithsonian Conservation Biology Institute and I can say that I have already learned many many things. Perhaps nothing more powerful than my new appreciation for wifi - the stuff is gold. I joke, but truly, living in an old farm house nestled in the woods a mile away from anyone really makes one appreciate the small things. Life as an intern is definitely different than life as a student. Of course everyone knows that but, this being my first real internship anywhere, I had a lot to learn. First and foremost is that I am answering to a boss now. A boss who is none other than Dr. William McShea. Also, I am now working a consistent 8-5 schedule (never less but often more). Being an intern certainly has its perks, however. I am now part of “the other side of the curtain” and am in the unspoken, and probably not even recognized, brotherhood of other interns and researchers. I rub elbows and share bathrooms with researchers every day. I am peers with other youthful, vibrant, determined people working each day towards our careers as the next generation of conservationists. Being near so many Masters and PhD hopefuls really has helped me focus and redefine my goals. I’m still very clueless, don’t get me wrong, but I have become much more confident in my choice to take each step slow and sure. To work each day trying to learn as much as possible, and to never stop hunting for the next wild research opportunity. A researcher I work with put it perfectly, “You’re young and don’t have too many responsibilities, now is the time to go out there and do crazy shit! Go explore and research in the craziest places while you can still handle it!”. Words that made me laugh at first, but very much resonated in my head for days afterwards.

The BiodiversiTree project is certainly coming a long. In only a month we have plotted out all but one of our 35m x 35m plots and have flagged 10 of them. My time is divided between working in the field with our land manager, Kyle Rhodes, and working in the office for Virginia Working Landscapes. I have to say, I much prefer hiking up and down snowy slopes carrying hammers and tapes and rebars than sitting in a quiet office pulling out my hair to teach myself enough excel to only have to redo the file 5 times. Computer work is where the future is, even in conservation, and excel is the most basic tool of all - I’m getting there. 

Living in the Leach House has been a wonderful experience for me so far. The old farm house is secluded but not so secluded that the maintenance team can’t get to us with their plows. It is filled with old furniture and photos from past teams of interns. The rooms just resonate with history and creepiness. It’s like living in a historic building. At times I feel like I should be preserving it - not shitting in its toilet. I occasionally take my DSLR out and explore the area around it. One can easily see remnants of Captain Leach’s farmland. By our pond are two abandoned barns (one of which I think Leach Cat lives in) and along the sides of the house one can see the broken down remains of stone fences. I love the winter but at the same time am eager for the warmer weather. I long to be able to run outside and feel the sun on my skin again. Once it warms up we will be able to clean up our garden and perhaps even grow vegetables. 

Last weekend I flew up to Michigan to visit Laurie. It had only been a month since I last saw her but I already missed her so much. It’s definitely been hard dealing with the distance. This being my first go at a long distance relationship (her third), my 8-5 daily schedule (get up at 7, dark by 6), on average only seeing 5 different people a day (she’s at college) and the lack of social outlet (we have two bars and a bowling ally, no wifi) - it was easy to see why she was doing so much better than me. I admit it wasn’t ideal to cash in my one flight so early in the game but because of her lacrosse schedule and encroaching exams - I had to work around her schedule. I am terrified of flying. For example, when I took off from Dulles in that tiny little plane I held my hands together, closed my eyes and blasted “Let’s Be Still” by The Head and the Heart. My heart was nearly in arrhythmia. There are just too many variables (I would be happy never flying again and driving and sailing the rest of my life if I had the money and time). And to see my darling for the weekend I had to take off and land 4 times in 2 days. I don’t know if she’ll ever understand how much I care about her but I do know that the people unfortunate enough to be in the seats next to me certainly do. All my melodrama and near death experiences aside - flying up north gave me the chance to see some of the most beautiful views of my life. Flying into Chicago at night is unlike anything I’ve ever seen. The city is an endless, illuminated grid. There’s really no better way to describe it other than that it looked like yellow Tron. On the other hand, flying into Detroit on my way back home looked like an endless ocean of ice and dark blue water. Flying above the winter storm made me feel like I was gazing down upon the Antarctic…When I touched down in Chicago it was already 2200 and I knew that it was a solid three hour drive back to Holland, MI. I don’t think I can really describe the 2 short days I got to spend with her. She’s good for my soul. Life has always been rather hectic for me - I never seem to think I am doing enough or doing the right thing. My mind wanders and loses itself very often in the mess of my own self-expectation. In terms of Love, I have never fared well. My past relationships have always been the perfect storm of my own insecurities, idealism and, there’s no way around it, terrible women. Laurie has always had this sense about her that I have not found before. She is straightforward, tells me what she is thinking about, tells me how she feels and tells me to tell her what’s on my mind - she makes me talk. She is realistic and always knows how to ground me again when my head gets too lost in the clouds. She is, at the same time, the tenderest person and the hardest person to me. She just knows how to drive me forward. The two days were filled with meeting her housemates, seeing her campus, walking around Holland’s downtown, taking in the Michigan winter and meeting her siblings. I can definitely say I am still in love with the north. As much as she hates it I still very much want to live somewhere where the winters are harsh and the summers are beautiful. Somewhere where the mountains meet the ocean and I can make my future FJ Cruiser really put it’s 4x4 to the test. Perhaps my second favorite moment of the trip was trekking across the frozen beach of Holland State Park with her and gazing across the frozen expanse of Lake Michigan (the first favorite being meeting her family, of course). It was both my first time seeing any of the Great Lakes and seeing this much frozen water. I remember turning towards her and staring into her eyes as the wind and snow blew around us. The snow illuminated her eyes and I couldn’t help but pull her in and hold her. Too often I count my blessings because, to me, nothing ever lasts as long as you want it to. This weekend was half way done, my internship will end, she will soon graduate and sooner than I want we will both be cast again into the next hectic chapters of our lives. And the hard part that I force myself to not think about is the very real possibility of us parting ways. She’s a realist, I am a idealist - there has been a disconnect since day 1 on how we see our relationship and it’s something that simply won’t change. Time can make or break things. We will be doing our wild research all over the world and it’s pretty certain it won’t be with each other. When the time comes that we can’t hold onto this anymore I have to be able to take it. So I held her…But before this tangent becomes completely depressing - I finally got to meet her siblings. I got to meet the brother, sister and sister-in-law I had heard so much about before. We had brunch at her brother’s house in Chicago and it was like walking into a Pottery Barn magazine fused with a bookstore - I loved it. They say when you are with someone their family unconditionally comes along with the package and man am I glad they were so carefree and fun to be around. Fresh pancakes, good music and good conversation is what we had for breakfast. I admit I was nervous that an all out interview was going to happen but it wasn’t at all like I anticipated. They were kind, interesting and interested - it couldn’t have been more perfect. 

All too soon the weekend ended and a week of work went by. The passing storms have been beautiful but tough on us at Leach House. It’s hard to get out of here to main campus without our pickup and the gracious help from the maintenance guys’ plows. Though, being snowed in does have its perks. It gave us a chance to rest and enjoy living in the woods. Something I didn’t expect was how being out from 8-5 really leaves you with no energy (or daylight) to enjoy the simplicity of the farm house you live in. We just get back, eat dinner and sleep. Walking through the deep snow with my camera allowed me to capture some peaceful and beautiful moments of Leach House. The first month here has already taught me so much. I am here till June and fill my spare time with reading, writing, applying to jobs/internships and PBR. I think about her all the time and I think about the future more than I should. She always tells me I think way too much into things and I don’t think she could be more right. I always seem to miss the small things and yet obsess over the little moments - if that even makes sense. But, the long and the short of it all is that I know that I am blessed, that I know life goes on and that I know there is time. She came into my life quite unexpectedly and has shown me so much in so short a time. She has made me happier than I have ever been and has lit a fire in me that has burned away the dusty, old things that have cluttered my head and my heart for too long now. I am becoming a new man with each passing day and I owe her for that.

Here’s to the next steps and trekking on.

Chris

Leach House

Words of wisdom for us interns found in the Radio Tracking Lab.

To make long straight lines one needs to use a staff compass.

Textures of one of our barns. 

A view of our house and barns from across Leach Pond.

Chicago = Yellow Tron

Michigan = Antarctica 

"She has made me happier than I have ever been and has lit a fire in me that has burned away the dusty, old things that have cluttered my head."

Role reversal happened when we had to save our pickup instead of it saving us. 

The peacefulness of the snow is something I will never stop loving. 

Thursday January 9, 2014
0:00

Today was hands down one of my most eventful wednesdays in a long time. It all started off bright and early; dazed, hungry and blinded by the pre-10am light I fumbled out of bed and into my work clothes. I quickly made myself a tumbler of black coffee and a plate of eggs and hotdogs (I am the picture of health). Today I was going to my friend Tyler Robic’s property to help and observe him carry out his morning chores.

His beautiful farm is in Purceville, VA nestled along the beginning ridges of the Blue Ridge Mountains. The land is unique in that it is a perfect marriage between entrepreneurism and just having awesome animals. The cattle and most of the horses on the property belong to other farmer’s and tenants leasing parts of the land from the Robic’s. The chickens, sheep, goats, cats, rabbits and protected forest all belong to his family. For the size of the land - it’s not too shabby. This wasn’t my first time out here; I had visited months ago with some of our SMSC classmates. It’s always a joy to be outside and, to me, there isn’t anything better than being outside and getting work done. Except maybe eating and sleeping. Aside from the property, the Robic household is a handmade marvel. Redone largely by his Uncle, the house features rich wooden floors (fashioned out of repurposed barn walls) and furniture, large cozy rooms, two fireplaces and leather couches and blankets in every room that can fit them. I felt like I was walking through a rustic edition of a Pottery Barn magazine! Due to privacy issues I felt it wouldn’t be right posting any pictures of their rooms, so instead I posted the view outside of his parents room (4th picture above). Impeccable taste, ingenuity and quality make up their home. 

After getting all of the animals fed we ventured out into the grazing fields to do some recon on a dead cow Tyler spotted earlier that morning. Cause of death was impossible to identify without cutting into the carcass which was completely frozen solid. It was clear vultures made it to the body before us because the ears, eyes and udder were missing. That failed we headed out with his German Shepard and Boxer to check out an old rock quarry his father has been researching. But that’s classified. The real adventure began at the base of the Maryland Heights hiking trail. To get to the mountain we needed to navigate our way alongside the Potomac River, through a creepy town made up of buildings with fake props and exhibits inside and across a railroad bridge. From there it was a flat stretch to the trailhead which then immediately transformed into 3 miles of switchbackless, unforgiving, ice covered elevation. Not one to complain, it was a struggle for me to make it up that climb in jeans and a damn miracle Tyler made it up in his Carhartt overalls. However, the view at the overlook was, to say the least, breath taking. Before us stretched out the historic city of Harper’s Ferry. To our left and right branched out the mighty Potomac and Shenandoah Rivers. There was something about the biting, cold air and the crisp, ice covered waters that made the view even more surreal - I felt like I was gazing at a sight similar to ones I will one day experience in the northwest. 

We headed back to the Robic farm for much nourishment and coffee. With a good amount of the day left to burn before the Owl Life History lecture at the Loudon Wildlife Conservancy we decided to break my firearm cherry with a 12-Gauge Remington 870 Shotgun. I must say I severely overestimated the amount of recoil and underestimated the loudness of the discharge. I barely budged but my ears were ringing! We then switched out his shotgun and grabbed a pair of hunting rifles and headed into the woods for some target practice. I used one he was borrowing from one of the animal keepers he volunteers with (the gun I’m firing above). Again I was deafened by the discharge but this time I felt like I had been hit by a flash-bang grenade. My ears were ringing and all I could hear were the muffled vibrations of our laughter. I don’t want to make any statement about whether or not we should be allowed to have our guns - but god damn it if I were to die protecting my family I would want the motherfucker that killed me filled with lead and hurtling towards hell with me. That aside, I have had firearms training on my list of things to do for a very long time. My priority is handgun and shotgun training for home defense and then rifle training for hunting. This was just a wonderful introduction to the shooting world - and I can say I am hooked. 

Hours later and the best damn Chai Tea Latte I have ever had (made by his sister sold out of a wonderful, historic shoemaker building repurposed into a coffee shop) we finally made it to the owl life history lecture. First and foremost, I had no idea it was going to last 2 hours. By the end of it I wanted to scream and kick the shit out of something. I simply cannot sustain concentration in a purely lecture situation for more than an hour. Other than that, I learned so many things about owls I had never known before. I learned that their faces are essentially parabolic satellite dishes, that they had 4 external ear flaps, that they close their eyes and turn their heads away at the last moment before they catch their prey and that can move their heads more than 200 degrees because their eyes can’t shift side to side. The lecture was worth going to. I learned a lot. But, as seen in the last picture, I envisioned an outside class filled with hands on learning. Not a stuffy building, crowded chairs and over 2 hours of slides.

Definitely the most eventful wednesday I’ve had since leaving SCBI. I miss the mountains dearly and I miss my classmates even more. I’m using these last days in NOVA to prepare my gear and my body to head back for my internship. Getting back in shape, fixing my diet and streamlining my gear are my priorities right now. But one can never have too much adventure.

Here’s to being spontaneous and making sure that recoil pad is tight to your shoulder.

Chris 

Man oh man I can’t believe it’s been 50 posts! Well, I didn’t know tumblr did this at all. It’s been a long journey on this blog so far, we are almost at a year now? Not exactly sure but the progress has been humbling. Sharing it all with the few and the interested has been a wonderful outlet for me. Love you all and love living on earth with you.

Chris

January 5, 2014
22:15

Yesterday I had the opportunity to hike 8 miles of DC’s streets with my good friends: Sean, Becca, Kevin and Mason. Sean wanted to set up an “Urban Adventure” as opposed to the usual outdoor adventures we have and god damn did he deliver. As soon as I walked into Franconia-Springfield Metro and saw him there with one of REI’s NatGeo waterproof DC maps I knew we were in for some trekking. 

We started off the journey by getting off at Foggy Bottom Metro and trekking to Georgetown. The mission - Patagonia! Imagine a toy store filled with just the toys you want, that’s what it felt like. The fleeces, jackets, tees and awkwardly Patagonia labelled rite-in-the-rains - I wanted them all. Sean and I stood there for a solid 3 minutes commenting on the stitch and seam job on one of their Nano Puff Jackets. Mason and Kevin didn’t seem to interested in the gear but get them in one of their $500 jackets and they WILL see what they are missing out on! Alas, I digress. It is a life goal of mine to one day do research sponsored by Patagonia…

Next we trekked to the water and made our way to the Kennedy Center. I must say I never knew we could go to the roof. I was literally mind-blown. From the top we could see the city, Theodore Roosevelt Island and Georgetown. The geometry of the roof made me photo-crazy. From there we trekked all the way to Union Station. The motto of the day was, “Metro? We don’t need the metro.”. The goal was the H st. Dangerously Delicious Pies. It’s pie was famous, it was food network'ed and Becca’s foodie friend recommended it - we were going. To get to Union Station we made our way through backroads. Through quaint neighborhoods and parks I’d never seen before. We spared no expense to make it as scenic and off the toursit-beaten path as possible. 

Dangerously Delicious Pies…What can I say? I never knew there was a restaurant totally focused on sweet and savory pies! The food was amazing, the prices a bit high and the selection out of this world. A huge plus was that they served a bunch of different beers, wines and liquors! It was small and quaint and tucked away in the awkward, gentrified part of H st. I had the chicken pot pie and the apple crumb - very traditionalist. 

The next part of the adventure was getting ourselves to Metro Station Metro and then to Rosslyn Metro. All by foot of course. We passed through more quaint neighborhoods and made a great find with this recovered Volkswagon van! I shamefully didn’t know it’s model. Once back at Union Station the sun was already starting to set. It cast the softest yellow light through the station’s columns. We were lucky enough to come across a wedding photo shoot. Cute couple, cute photog, cute girl holding the flowers - just cute everywhere. 

We finally, after much needed rest on the metro, made it to Rosslyn. The sun was setting fast but we just HAD to make it to this damn island. It was the closure the trip needed. We found a bike thanks to Sean. We then found the correct bike path thanks to Becca and made it to the island. The bridge leading to the island was covered in ice but ahead of it was an island I never knew existed in DC. The filthy water and the filthy streets just had me praying this one island was relatively untouched. Once on the island it was obvious that it was dominated by Beeches and Sycamores. The paths were rather clean and it was good old dirt under our feet (and gravel). Just a little up the hill was the memorial. It was like seeing end goal of a long arduous journey. We had walked a good 8 miles, were tired and quite cold. Just seeing the waving giant was satisfying. 

Urban adventure number 1 - complete. Definitely could never live in a city, even one as relatively calm as DC, but I do appreciate the history they have to offer. It was a great hurrah with my friends and I definitely look forward to adventuring more major cities.

Here’s to the city. 

Chris

In Memoriam

If you leave from the start then there was never love at all.

Saturday December 21, 2013
11:34

It’s hard to look back through my SMSC photographs and think about how quickly the last 4 months have passed by. 4 months is nothing at all - simply a semester’s time, and yet during those few months it felt like I was part of a different world. I don’t know if it’s a sudden upwelling of premature nostalgia, or a need for final words - closure. But I’d like to quickly recount the last weeks of my time with my SMSC family as well as where my life has taken me since. 

Our finals were comprised of 3 hour long situational questions. However, SMSC isn’t your average semester program and surprised us with situations were we had to go through camera trap photos and create species abundance graphs as well as species present at a carcass data analysis. There was a moment when we needed to pack our things and move to our computer lab and update a GIS map of our campus with new roads. The hands on, out-of-the-box method of teaching SMSC provided is something that made the 4 short months spent there worth years of lab and field experience - and I am forever grateful for that. Our finals week was, however, a bittersweet experience. Not because of the exams themselves but because of their implications. We were quickly and unavoidably getting closer to the end of our semester. As a result every moment of those last two weeks of class were not spent studying or reviewing but were spent together. We played Magic: The Gathering, we watched movies, we made friendship bracelets, we played in the snow, we hiked, we had pizza parties and we snuggled erratically. It was as if  we were’t just holding onto the last moments we had together as a family, but were holding onto to the last moments we had as carefree college students. Before a number of us lay a long and difficult road of job searching, grad school applications and internship hunting. Before all of us lay the selfless, underfunded road of conservation. Through the echoing of the hallways I could hear the voices of the 11 people that had become my family. I thought about our futures and how drastically we all have changed since the first day. I believe it was a coincidence that 12 extremely sentimental people were thrown into the same semester (it’s a fact that other semesters were not nearly as close or awesome as us) and hold it true to myself that it was a miracle (it literally was, ACS’ class was only 5 people which was under the minimum amount of enrollment needed - it was almost cancelled) that we all got to meet each other. 

When our last week finally arrived we were once again thrown into a flurry of activity - it was final presentations and closing week. Having already delivered our group monitoring plan presentation a few weeks ago, we were left with presenting our individual visual essays describing our practicum experiences. It was the first time we were all able to see what our classmates did for their mini-internship. We got to see how much poop scooping, bush-wacking, camera trapping, tree finding, park educating, turtle finding and food prepping we all did. We truly were a class of comedians and made short work of making our practicum advisors, teachers and supervisors cry with laughter. Then came our closing ceremonies. Gathered in the dining hall we had all come to love, we watched as our beloved teachers called us up one by one and explained to us exactly how much they loved us and how much they will miss us. They recounted to us our quirks and sayings, they brought up memories and jokes and did it all in front of us, our families, researchers and visiting conservationists - for each and every one of us. I don’t think I’ve ever smiled, laughed and nearly man-teared so much. These teachers were our friends. They went above and beyond every day to teach us, drive us, feed us and even secret santa with us. Throughout this semester I talked to them as well as several of the researchers as humans. I tried to learn more about their likes and dislikes. Their families and their goals. I saw them all as good, honest, hard working people and not just teachers or supervisors - and it all paid off. I came away from the semester with a group of fantastic people I can call my friends. This came in quite handy when nearly all of them jumped to tell me that they would gladly say good words about me while I was applying for internships. Speaking of which, the last two weeks for me were a flurry of stressful internship applications, emails, contacting and reference hunting. What emerged from all of it was a shiny, new 5 month long internship at SCBI with Dr. McShea! I had done it! I came into this semester with 2 main goals: Learn everything I can possible learn and get a job/internship. Landing that internship was the product of nearly a years worth of hard work and determination. As this blog can attest, I needed this lifeline desperately. As I walked away from Dr. McShea’s office through the campus towards the Residence Hall I thought about the place I would soon be calling home for another 5 months. I thought about how empty the halls were already - my friends leaving in their cars one tearful round of hugs after another. I thought about how we were like god damn dragon balls shooting away all across the world never to be reunited again for a long long time. I thought about how it isn’t the buildings that truly make a place special to you - it’s the people in them. As I walked away from that office my feelings of excitement poured out of my brain and churned with the overwhelming tide of sentiment pouring out of my heart. By the time I found Becca, Jeff and Laurie sitting on the floor of our desolated hallway I was a mess. After helping Becca finish up her packing, Laurie and I exchanged last hugs in our parking lot and watched our two RAs walk back into the now completely empty Residence Hall. It would be only a short time before I would be coming back here - but not for a long time would I be seeing any of them again. 

I had the amazing fortune of meeting Laurie Stubenrauch this semester. She’s a strong-headed, strong-willed, rough and tumble girl from Long Island studying biology in Michigan and I absolutely adore her. What started off as casual late-night study sessions and conversations turned into a wonderful friendship. Fast forward 4 months and I just got back from meeting her parents and friends in her hometown of Huntington, NY. She’s unlike anyone I’ve ever met. To put it plainly and in a nutshell, I’ve never met a girl that so perfectly blends a love of the outdoors, art, music, fashion and sports without the streak of utter bullshittery so many girls nowadays have in them (I mean no offense, unless you are the type of girl I am alluding to, in that case you are absolutely awful). Again and again I find myself realizing how lucky I am to have met a woman like her. We spent the week after our departure from SCBI having a tour de meet-the-parents. She spent 3 days in Virginia meeting my friends and family prior to my visit up north and I must say it was a collision of many of my worlds. Seeing her there in my house eating with my family, seeing her in my room helping sew my worn out jeans, seeing her interacting with my friends and walking with me in Fairfax Corner past my REI - it was all surreal and special. For so long I have discounted my chances of romance. So worn out has my heart and mind been from the terrible relationships that have made up my past. My mind was so set on getting to where I wanted to be professionally I felt I wouldn’t meet anyone, let alone actually pursue a relationship until after I was independent and living on my own. She blindsided me. In our short time together she has inspired in me a new type of hope I haven’t had before. She has encouraged me to believe in myself as well as my dreams. She has shown me that not all is as dark as it seems and that hard work and a little luck is all one ever needs. She has shown me the value of being wild and spontaneous as well as the value of just sitting back and listening to each other exist. But most of all, she has shown me that despite the distance, despite the timing and despite the many many variables of our chaotic futures - there are things worth holding on to. In the words of The Oh Hellos, In Memoriam, “If you leave from the start then there was never love at all”.

It’s been a crazy 4 months of my life. As it all comes to a close I look back at it with a final reflection and think to myself, “it has only begun”.

Here’s to the next step, the next adventure.

Chris

Trees

Climbing trees like we did when we were children

Tuesday November 19, 2013
21:14

It’s hard to believe it’s only been a month since I posted in here. Living out here at SCBI, there’s so much to do that time seems to pass much faster than normal. A couple of weeks ago I had the chance to road trip with Laurie to Boone, NC to visit her friend, Danielle, at Appalachian State University. Hands down, it was one of the best weekend road trips I’ve ever taken. App State is a beautiful school filled with beautiful people. To describe the campus in a nutshell I would say that it was like walking through a ski town (not ski resort, the small towns built into the mountains leading up to the resort - big difference) filled with little mom and pop eateries and outfitters surrounded by mountains and REI magazine models. The women and men were all rough and tumble looking, the air was crisp and you could see the mountains around you. Now there are plenty of schools near mountains but there always manages to be people that don’t care for the outdoors. One of the first things that stuck out to me during out little campus tour was Danielle saying, “Campus is empty because its the weekend and everyone is out camping”. I was pretty much wet and sold at that point. App State was one of the schools I wished I had applied to towards my last years at GMU during my phase of complete regret and depression at my current emotional, physical and educational state. After the campus tour we went for a quick hike up the Hawksbill Mountain Trail. The trail was easy for the most part with a steep incline at the last 50 meter stretch. What was interesting about the hike was the massive amount of Rhododendron aka “Rhododoodoo” lining the path. At the summit we were blown away by a fantastic view of the Blue Ridge spreading endlessly before us. In terms of effort put in vs. summit gained, I haven’t found a hike that can beat this one. The three of us spent easily an hour up there looking at the tree covered mountains and talking to the trail crew. While the girls went off to take selfies by the edges I had the fortune of meeting and talking to Bill Hodge, the director of the Southern Appalachian Wilderness Stewards, while he waited for the rest of his trail crew to reach the summit. We talked about the geography and history of the Linville Gorge Wilderness, native species of Hawksbill Mountain, his career with SAWS and the invasive species monitoring programs SAWS has been working on with the Forest Service. He was a kind, hard working man that I could tell was passionate about his work with the service. The fact that he was also wearing a buff (the PCT map one) made it even easier to connect with him as we talked about my life and work at SCBI this semester. Before we began our descent I made sure to get a card and a firm hand shake from from Bill. We ate lunch at a fantastic burrito joint and spent the rest of the day relaxing in Danielle’s apartment until it was dark enough to emerge into the outdoor, hipster-but-actually-outdoorsy-hipster, craft-beer-fueled college town that is Boone. It was fantastic. The trip culminated in an attempt at an early sunday morning, Cook-Out, a sweet gear consignment shop (i got a patagucci fleece for 40 dolla) and a tight hug from a new friend. It was only a weekend but I was already sad to be leaving Boone. Danielle was a out-of-this-world host and a wonderful person. I’m glad to have met Laurie just to have met Danielle and her future husband, “bearded GIS”. 

This past weekend was a non-stop flurry of colliding worlds and special people. A world of special people colliding if you will. In the spirit of getting things finally off of my bucket list, I collaborated with my good friends Sean Lacey and Mason to set up a car camping trip/ Front Royal/ SCBI tour with all of my NOVA friends. We chose the beautiful Shenandoah River State Park as our destination. It would be the first time a lot of my friends from home have been camping and, considering the time crunch us SMSC guys were on (we were driving back from the National Conservation Training Center in WV), it was a perfect choice. We couldn’t have asked for a better camp site. Gravel floor, big metal fire pit, bathrooms, stream-side view and unlimited pre-packaged firewood!? This was basically glamping. Gathered around the fire that night I couldn’t help but feel this sense of gratitude. Nearly 10 months ago I was sitting alone in my room applying endlessly to USAJOBS, hope dripping out of my fingertips endlessly onto my keyboard. But here, 10 months later I was sitting besides a warm fire (and my schmoking hot lady friend, Laurie) as my closest friends, coworker and classmates shared stories of their lives. It was the collision of three very big parts of my world. In a sudden rush of realization and gratitude I understood how good life for me had become. I understood how important this seemingly simple moment was. How important all of these people were to me. The morning after camping we hiked a quick 5 miles on the Bear Bottom Trail it was a wide, easy hike through a sprawling oak forest. Near the 3 mile mark or so we came across a fantastic view down a deep, long valley. The hike gave me time to catch up with my NOVA friends, show them some trees and explain what life has been like here these 4 short months. I also discovered that my friend Quin is a terrible hiker (haha sorry Quin), you can’t just drop a city boy into a forest. After the hike I took my friends on the grand tour of Front Royal and SCBI. I showed them the town’s historic district, the fantastic Apple House, my dorm at SCBI, some animals, the SI-GEO plot that I work in, the NEON tower and the vistas from Longhill and Race Track Hill. I felt like a SCBI tour guide and have to admit that I loved it. I never realized how much I had learned about the facility and my practicum until I had to condense it all down to be explained to first time visitors. Watching my friends walk through SCBI 1 and 2 was eerie to me at first. These were the people that I grew up with walking through the trees I have come to know and love. So different were the worlds they represented - so strangely did I feel like I was part of both. 

This past Sunday I woke up early and headed to Harper’s Ferry with the Herps to do some stream surveys around Tyler’s farm. We weren’t doing it for any particular reason at all, we were doing it simply to get outside and see what we would find. I love my conservation friends. I’m not sure how long we waded through that chilly stream but just when we thought it was a bust Elliot pulled out this amazing snapping turtle! He/She was too cold to snap at us so we were able to get a lot of good pictures of it. The poor thing had leeches attached to its head. We thought of removing them but knew better than to get that close to its mouth, cold or not it would probably get a finger or two. Our survey took place near a big power line clearing. On the way back to Tyler’s farm I couldn’t help but take a few pictures of the beautiful lines they created between the farm and forest patch habitats. Tyler’s farm is near damn perfect. He has three dogs, several heads of cattle, some sheep, two goats, some rabbits and I’m not even sure what else. I can see why he’s such an early riser as well as why he has such a strong work ethic. I don’t know anyone my age with the kind of hands on (hard ass hell farm work) work ethic, family values, good-hearted kindness (to people he respects) and dedication to science as Tyler (and Elliot). He (they) is (are) certainly one (two) of a kind and I am so grateful to have met him (hims) this semester. At the farm we helped him feed his hoofstock and got to meet his new ram. Who we learned is now finally starting to mate with the sheep. We also got to meet some of his family as well at watch him feed his three dogs. Those three dogs were so well-behaved and eager to be handled that I couldn’t help but kneel down and pet big armfuls of all three of them at once! He has a german shepard, boxer and golden retriever. I only remember the name of the shepard, Babe, because she was a princess and was clearly the matriarch of the trio. 

Things are quickly coming to an end here at SCBI. It’s hard to believe that 4 months could go by so quickly. It’s even harder to believe how close everyone has become to one another. It’s downright unfair to have us all separate so soon, but such is the way of life. Personally, I have been dealing with this moment with a bit of growing anxiety. The whole thing has been amplified with my forcing myself to update my CV and start applying to internships. It’s certainly funny how time, place and people work. So quickly can people attach to one another. So quickly can a certain place be home to so many good moments. I’ve had to deal with moving on many times in my life, I have struggled with it each time. But something that I learned being here this semester (I know this is premature I still have little under a month left) is that we are all part of a ever moving picture. So quickly we are moving across the painted shapes of our earth, from state to state and country to country - we are moving. Be it work, family or school we run into each other for brief moments of time during our lives and then separate again. What I have learned is that, no matter how many times we meet and separate and meet and separate we are always able to hold onto the people that we cannot live without. The world is only so big, the mountains so high and the oceans so vast. To the adventure hearted there is nothing to stop us. When my friends visited me this weekend we took a group picture on top of Longhill that I knew was going to be one of the most important pictures I ever took. Though they lived only an hour away, it represented the power of good friends coming together. In the picture, Longhill represented all of the people that I have met here at SCBI and their collision with my old world. Never before have I been at the edge of such potential as I have been here. Within the next few months I could be anywhere in the world interning. The uncertainty kills me just as my irrational connection to people and places pulls at my heart. But looking at that picture I know that the world isn’t quite so big as I think. I know that if I want to hold onto these people - there isn’t a damn thing that can stop me. 

Here’s to growing, living and loving.

Trek On,

Chris

"What I have learned is that, no matter how many times we meet and separate and meet and separate we are always able to hold onto the people we cannot live without."

"In terms of effort put in vs. summit gained, I haven't found a hike that can beat this one."

"I'm glad to have met Laurie just to have met Danielle and her future husband, "bearded GIS"."

"Gravel floor, big metal fire pit, bathrooms, stream-side view and unlimited pre-packaged firewood!? This was basically glamping."

A beautiful stream-side view of the Shenandoah River's south fork. 

"Though they lived only an hour away, it represented the power of good friends coming together."

"On the way back to Tyler's farm I couldn't help but take a few pictures of the beautiful lines they created between the farm and the forest patch habitats."

"I'm not sure how long we waded through that chilly stream but just when we thought it was a bust Elliot pulled out this amazing snapping turtle!"

"He has three dogs, several head of cattle, some sheep, two goats, some rabbits and I'm not even sure what else."

"I don't know anyone my age with the kind of hands on (hard as hell farm work) work ethic, family values, good-hearted kindness and dedication to science as Tyler and Elliot." 

Let's Be Still

So just for the moment, let’s be still.

10/14/13
Dolly Sods Wilderness Area (North), WV

Today I had the opportunity to hike and camp Dolly Sods with my SMSC crew. The wilderness area had a good two days to soak up all the rain from this weekend and was a boggy, mist covered trail by the time we got there. The sprawling plains had turned into a sea of fog trapped in a valley. As we hiked deeper, ghostly pine trees began to emerge like specters leading us towards the forest. As the fog lifted the already obscure trail markers and trail signs became easier to find and we began picking up speed. Initially we planned on finding campsites off of Bear Rocks Trail but our pickiness kept us moving forward. Eventually we found ourselves 5 miles in along the beautiful left fork of Red Creek in a forest of pines. The mist held off long enough for us to set up camp but as we began to look for firewood it crept back in and added a eerie calm to the red-colored creek. Thanks to our amazing wilderness-survival-bushwacking-aint-no-thang dream team we had a ridiculous amount of firewood and a big fire going in no time. We all began desperately warming our feet and drying our soaked boots and socks. As the night drew closer and we prepared to camp down for the night we began setting up dinner. We roasted peppers on Elliot’s make shift grill (what a disgusting vegetable), pan roasted onions, grilled up some meat sticks and topped it all off with freshly boiled rice. I don’t know what we would have done without Tyler’s whisperlite. The night was a peaceful, cold night made perfect by our warm sleeping bags. Tent #1 was knocked out and ready to sleep but Tent #2 would not stop laughing and singing - and truth be told I didn’t mind that much at all. It’s the camp vibes and the good people that we do these things for. 

The next morning we awoke to a rekindled fire and the best soupy pancakes one could imagine - all thanks to Mr. Tyler Robic and Stubey Poopy. After eating through an entire bag of pancake mix we suited up for the wet hike out. The plan was to head east on Blackbird Knob Trail, north on Upper Red Creek Trail and then east on Doblin Grade back to Bear Rocks and the parking. True to my record thus far, Dolly Sods didn’t fail to utterly confuse me and we found ourselves standing in an open field without a trail facing a dense pine forest quickly being overtaken by fog. It was both beautiful and frightening how fast fog can move. In retrospect, I realized we needed to stay left after crossing Red Creek and to follow the path hugging the creek (one of two trails flanking a trail sign that simply said, “Doblin Grade”). Honestly, all I ask for are arrows, West Virginia. We knew that we needed to head northeast to intersect Beaver View Trail or the fire road so we hugged the ridgeline following game trails until we emerged into a pristine field of moss, pines and rocks. It was one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen. One could look out into the horizon and see the foggy vista stretch on forever. Ever conservationists, we made sure to stop and flip rocks and search streams whenever possible (I didn’t, ain’t no one got time for that with my big ass pack) and we were able to find a number of Red-Spotted Newts. We eventually approached a climb leading to a second pine forest but we hesitated to enter, hoping instead to find a way around it. Lucky for us, Laurie was able to use her animal-like game trail identification skills to zig zag our way across what felt like random directions back onto Beaver View Trail. From there it was smooth sailing back to the fire road and to the cars. We decided to end the trip with a quick drive south to a bird banding overlook we visited during class but the fog was so thick that the sprawling mountains had turned into a sea of mist. In a way it was the perfect way to end the trip. It was the first time adventuring with this new group of friends and despite all the rain and fog and swamp we all stayed positive. In fact, we had an amazing time just simply being with one another and being lost in the outdoors we are all fighting to save. In a way, the cold, crisp air and endless fog was a perfect ending to a perfect trip. 

Here’s to my rough and tumble friends.

And never saying no to adventure.

Chris

"Eventually we found ourselves 5 miles in along the beautiful left fork of Red Creek in a forest of pines."

"The mist held off long enough for us to set up camp but as we began to look for firewood it crept back in and added an eerie calm to the re-colored creek." 

"We all began desperately warming our feet and drying our soaked boots and socks."

Tyler climbed up pine trees and broke off dead branches for the fire. 

"Thanks to our amazing wilderness-survival-bushwacking-aint-no-thang dream team we had a ridiculous amount of firewood and a big fire going in no time."

Ever multi-taskers we roasted our peppers and our boots. 

"The next morning we awoke to a rekindled fire and the best soupy pancakes one could imagine - all thanks to Mr. Tyler Robic and Stubey Poopy."

"One could look out into the horizon and see the foggy vista stretch on forever."

"Every conservationists, we made sure to stop and flip rocks and search streams whenever possible and we were able to find a number of Red-Spotted Newts."

"In a way, the cold, crisp air and endless fog was a perfect ending to a perfect trip."

Suitcase Full of Sparks

Just trying to find my way to you

09/15/13

Week 3 here at SMSC has ended and I feel like I am finally getting a bearing on the pace of things. It’s been overwhelming trying to figure out how to partition my time here simply because there is so much to do. That being said, I still haven’t gone hiking or camping with any of my classmates here. That needs to change. I remember how I would plan a day hike with my friends for weeks in advance and all day at work I would just itch and itch and itch to hit the road and get back out here in the mountains. Now I wake up and barely notice them as I walk to breakfast. Convenience breeds depreciation. On a different note, I am still managing to barely get my school work done and I have fallen behind in running - this must also change. As a last aside, I am trying to make my entries here much more regular. For what purpose I don’t know. As a catalog of my adventures and as a place to put my pictures I suppose. I don’t know exactly how long tumblr will suffice either. Perhaps once I begin truly traveling and living on my own I will invest in a more independent website. But alas, that’s a long ways away from now. More and more I am learning the value of just going with the flow. Not everything needs to be photographed, not everything needs to be shared. Simple really, but believe it or not I have a problem with it. Ok. This past week.

Week 3 wasn’t a very field-heavy week, we went out into the field only once and it was to Blandy Experimental Farm in Boyce, VA to do grassland ecosystem data collection for the Northern Bobwhite Quail. It was an overcast, humid day but something about staring across that flat grassland and trees reminded me of the encroaching fall and how much I was ready for my comfort season. Cold days, hot coffee and hotter fires - I miss them. We were able to fit in an insane amount of activity into this weekend however. Friday night we attended a post-WWI air show complete with vintage planes, cars and lively lindy-hop dance floor. It was something that one simply had to be at. The whole thing took place at Front Royal - Warren County Airport where a full swing band played music to a warehouse full of lively, retirees dressed in full lindy-hop attire. There was a strong presence of respect for our servicemen and there were a fair amount of retirees wearing their old uniforms. What was even more touching was a certain Navy couple who tore up the dance floor. To be honest the experience kind of rekindled an old dream of mine to serve straight out of high school. I didn’t know what branch or what position I wanted to do but I do know that I did, and still do, want to serve my country somehow. There is a deep resonating respect in my heart for the men and women who serve our country. On a lighter note, I was prompted by my classmates to step out of my comfort zone. And by step out of I mean skydive out of my comfort zone. I was pulled a couple times onto the dance floor - one of which the woman singing singled out our entire class out onto the dance floor introducing our school to the crowd and forcing us to dance. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many of my classmates be pulled away by so many dapper grandpa’s. The look of terror on their faces were legendary. More and more I am starting to love this eclectic bunch of ruffians I call my classmates.

The next morning a determined handful of us woke up bright and early and volunteered at The Farm at Sunnyside harvesting mint, paw paws and spice bush berries. There’s something special about waking up and getting out into the field. Getting your hands and knees dirty knowing that what you’re doing is helping out another person. Volunteerism, basically. It was an especially cool day so walking through the dense spice bushes as the fresh mountain air blew through its leaves created a peace I didn’t want to wake up from. This farm grows everything organically and once a week will send some of it’s produce to the farmer’s market in DuPont Circle, DC. One of these Sundays I plan to help them out from farm to market. There is so much to learn and experience in life and anyone can be a teacher. And I’ve been trying toembrace every chance I get.

Finally, today we woke up and helped The Friends of the Shenandoah River State Park with their river clean up. We rowed down 3.1 miles of the river picking up trash along the banks wherever we could find it. Many times I simply jumped out of the canoe and walked across the shallow river bed. The water was clear, cold and gentle and it took the all of me to not just lay back and soak my legs. There were a number of rapids and, though they were harmlessly small, they were dangerously easy to get caught on. The mossy rocks at these rapids are so uneven and slippery that it was easy to suddenly slip into a deeper part of the river. There was one point where Danny and I were coasting and as I took in the sounds of the river and his (amazing) voice singing Misty Mountains (yes, from the hobbit) I saw out of the corner of my eye a completely incompetent Laurie trying to pull her canoe free.

As the days go by I think more and more about how I wish this will never end. I remember during my prospective student tour nearly half a year ago, a student in the class we were visiting told us that he wished that he could stay here forever - while I don’t necessarily want to stay here forever, I now understand what he meant. SCBI, and Front Royal for that matter, is an amazing place to learn and live. The Shenandoah Valley already holds a special place in my heart and this small town has definitely changed my perspective on what’s important and what’s not. Good people, early days, simple pleasures and cold beers - that’s all I need. I’m still getting used to these weekly postings and I can promise you the posts will get shorter, less sappier and more informative - just hang in there.

Here’s to living and learning whenever you can.

Chris

"It was an overcast, humid day but something about staring across that flat grassland and trees reminded me of the encroaching fall and how much I was ready for my comfort season."

Tyler enthusiastically measuring a 1m x 1m plot for the N Bobwhite Qual data collection. 

"Friday night we attended a post-WWII air show complete with vintage planes cars and a lively lindy-hop dance floor."

A refurbished car and a few of the impressive hot air balloons there. 

"What was even more touching was a certain Navy couple who tore up the dance floor."

"The next morning a determined handful of us woke up bright and early and volunteered at The Farm at Sunnyside harvesting mint, paw paws and spice bush berries."

"It was an especially cool day so walking through the dense spice bushes as the fresh mountain air blew through its leaves created a peace I didn't want to wake up from."

"We rowed down 3.1 miles of river picking up trash along the banks wherever we could find it."

"The water was clear, cold and gentle and it took the all of me to not just lay back and soak my legs."

"A completely incompetent Laurie trying to pull her canoe free."

It’s been too long since I’ve last written my thoughts here. So much has happened since my last entry. Perhaps the best way to describe it would be to say its been an “avalanche” of positivity and change. It all started when I packed my life into a 90L duffel, grabbed my pack and my guitar and headed out for the north for my cousin’s wedding. I knew right then and there that I had finally taken the first steps of an exciting adventure. The trip up north through NJ, RI and MA was everything that I could have asked for. I got to see family from all over the world colliding in the humble houses of my New England family. Aunts and Uncles that took care of my brother and I during our stay in France, cousins all the way from Oregon that I only got to see on facetime and Christmas and Cambodian relatives that took us all over Cambodia helping my father find the home he grew up in all collided and it was a surreal moment. The power of a family that stops at nothing comes together is unlike anything else in this world. The house was so crowded that I simply set up camp in the backyard for the whole week. I slept at 10 and woke at 6 to the fresh New England air (yes, it is different) and the sound of wild turkeys (and sprinklers) - it was perfect. The best part of the wedding, hands down, had to be when my cousin and her husband walked out onto the stage to begin their first dance and, instead of having “Ho Hey” played by the DJ, all of my cousins and I ran onto the stage guitar, ukulele and pill bottle filled with golf tees a-blazin’ and sang them the whole song. She was in tears by the first chorus. I don’t mean to be overly sentimental but I think I almost cried playing that guitar haha. After a few delicious Samuel Adams later, a whole lot of dancing and quite a bit of street cred with the cute Boston College white girls, the night drifted away into the misty air. And just like that woke up the next morning at 5am, broke down my tent, packed my car, hugged my family tightly and headed straight for Front Royal, VA.

Just like that I found myself in a small town swallowed by the Blue Ridge Mountains surrounded by the new faces of whom would become some of the best people I’ve ever met (don’t let that get to your heads guys). Those who’ve followed this blog from day one know exactly how hard I’ve been working to get to SMSC and that first night just standing in the middle of my empty dorm I most definitely cried like a little girl. It’s one thing to get an email saying you’ve been accepted to a program but it’s an entirely different thing waking up in the morning, looking across a beautiful campus and seeing the mountains. It’s only been 3 short weeks but I have already been overwhelmed with huge amounts of kindness, learning and adventure. Right off the bat I made a good friend and fellow adventurer named Tyler Robic and hit the AT the morning of our first class. Things pretty much took off after that. There is no short of being in the great outdoors here. The massive campus is gated but so large that it contains its own forest and it’s own pesky population of white-tailed deer. Our day-to-day are a perfect balance of in-class theory/policy and fieldwork and data collection outside in the SMSC campus or on surrounding farms and research centers. There are no words to describe how good it feels to get my hands back in the earth and my mind back in the classroom. For so long I have been yearning to be productive - to have a direction and goal to work towards. The limbo of unemployment and the cutting knife of rejection have made me a humble and grateful man. The people here are good people to say the least. The staff are the kindest, most down to earth professors I’ve ever met. I forget sometimes that I am surrounded my PhD’s and leaders in conservation - they are all so fun and real to talk to. My classmates are from all over the place (OR, CA, MI/NY, VA) and are quite an eclectic mix of people. There is no end, I mean NO END, to the bonding, laughs and adventures we share. I have to admit that even though it’s just week 3 I already kind of miss them all…My knowledge base of ecology and conservation biology is slowly increasing and I am starting to work out parts of my brain that I forgot that I had. I am also making sure to write down all of the street cred that I get from volunteering/ working with the researchers here and I am nursing a beef jerky addiction. Needless to say, there is so much to experience here and this blog will be seeing much more of it before the end of these 4 months.

Finally, I had the opportunity to attempt to hike the Roaring Plains circuit in Davis, WV this past weekend. When they say that West Virginia is the wild and the wonderful they are not kidding. It’s like going back in time every time I suit up and head out there. John Denver was right, life is old there and things take on the air of a simpler yesterday. To put it lightly, the hike was brutal. It opened up with a small field of wild flowers but quickly led to a misty, pine-filled climb along the ridgeline of the mountain. For several hours we climbed upwards across slippery rocks and fairly deep streams - the whole time envisioning the breathtaking plains sprawling in the wind. We eventually reached a fire road that would, in 1 mile, finally put us at the Roaring Plains trail. It was along this calm respite that we realized that we were running low on time and daylight. If my buddy Zach was to get back at home by 2000 we would need to turn around by 1630 latest. Needless to say we began a frantic trail run into the woods. At about 1600 we stopped for lunch and the turn-around. We never made it to the plains but we were 4000ft. up, surrounded my pines and could kind of see the peaks of the Allegheny in the distance - we were satisfied. These were some of my favorite people and I appreciated just being able to get out here. They met up with me 830 that morning outside of Front Royal’s only Target. They drove an hour to get there and the hugs and back slaps were something I really needed. These were guys that, only half a year ago, were complete strangers working with me at REI. Over a couple of hikes and many many fun days at work, they became my good friends. And here we were, Sean holding down the fort at REI, Zach working hard at Enterprise and me going back to school to save the world one tree at a time. It’s cliche but it certainly wasn’t the destination this time but rather the journey and who I made it with. We pretty much ran the rest of the way back home, piled into Zach’s car shirtless, ran over my glasses and blasted Led Zepplin all the way home - it was just as I missed. We will certainly attempt Roaring Plains again in the future, our campaign to press westward won’t stop for anything.

All in all that’s everything that’s been happening lately, in a nutshell and in only 10 photos. Life is strange, that much I know. Sometimes you are drowning in a endless sea of lost hope, and sometimes you are snowboarding down an avalanche of positivity and change. Everyday is an adventure that has just begun and you just need to get yourself out of bed, strap up your boots and make life TAP. 

Here’s to never giving up and trekking on.

Chris

"I knew right then and there that I had finally taken the first steps of an exciting adventure."

"The house was so crowded that I simply set up camp in the backyard for the whole week."

"She was in tears by the first chorus."

"Just like that I found myself in a small town swallowed by the Blue Ridge mountains surrounded by the new faces of whom would become some of the best people I've ever met."

"It's one thing to get an email saying you've been accepted to a program but it's and entirely different thing waking up in the morning, looking across a beautiful campus and seeing the mountains."

"My classmates are from all over the place (OR, CA, MI/NY, VA) and are quite an eclectic mix of people. There is no end, I mean NO END, to the bonding, laughs and adventures we share."

"There are no words to describe how good it feels to get my hands back in the earth and my mind back in the classroom."

"Needless to say we began a frantic trail run into the woods."

"At about 1600 we stopped for lunch and the turn-around."

"It's cliche but it certainly wasn't the destination this time but rather the journey and who I made it with."

     Yesterday I had the opportunity to adventure through the northern area of Dolly Sods, WV with my brother in adventure, Sean Lacey. The 13 mile hike was part of a plan of ours to slowly expand our adventures westward, and let me tell you, it was a hell of a first experience. The beautiful wilderness area was nested in the Allegheny mountains and had a variety of terrain and began as a beautiful westward descent towards the center of the valley. We hiked through sprawling fields of low grasses, sporadic conifers, clusters of boulders and fields of blueberries. In the distance we could see a dense forest of evergreens awaiting us. The valley has had a history of war and logging which could be easily seen in the lush forest floors which were densely covered in ferns and new growth. It was as if we were walking through prehistoric times. The cool forest gave way to bright, rocky fields (I deduce this is when we obtained the majority of our sunburn). For a few miles there was no cover but we could tell we were quickly approaching Rocky Knob by the increasing number of boulders as well as the occasional trail maker (Dolly Sods didn’t have a blazed trail leaving us to the mercy of hikers past). Upon reaching the first large rock face (which we presumed to be Rocky Knob) we could see other, larger rock faces in the distance. Fast-forward two more knobs and we reached what we believed to be THE Rocky Knob mentioned in the literature. Throughout the hike we recorded time and elevation at each trail intersection and made sure to note the first two knobs as Tallywacker Knob #1 and #2 respectively. At the base of the peak we set up shop and rehydrated. Once our food had cooked we took our meals up to the top and enjoyed a well-earned lunch and a breathtaking view. I took the opportunity to photograph the surrounding landscape as well as some candids of Sean. Lately I’ve found that I am relying on my iPhone 4s more and more as my primary camera (I can see all of my photography professors cringing). With these hikes getting more technical/beautiful the opportunity is starting to outweigh the quality and I am reaching for my phone rather than unpacking my bulky DSLR. In my opinion, the app VSCOCAM (http://vsco.co/vscocam) is an invaluable partner on these hikes. It’s photo quality is much higher than the stock camera app and its editing capabilities are everything that I need (except I could use a brightness/fill light option) to take quality images. The only photos in this entry taken with my DSLR are the ones watermarked. Anyways, photographic aside aside, I really owe a lot to Sean Lacey. Over the past months he has become a close friend, a valued teacher and a irreplaceable  adventure companion. Aside from basic survival and navigation, he has shown me how to truly live a simple and honest life. He has helped me gain so much experience with the outdoors and has made me a much more capable and confident hiker. Once we finished our meals we prepared for the stretch back home. To do this we essentially needed to complete the second half of the rectangular hike which included more than 4 different intersecting trails, all of which weren’t marked. We had roughly 5 or so hours of sunlight left. The trouble really began with finding our way back to the main trail from the knob. What we took as the main trail was actually the first of many bushwacked trails we would accidentally follow and it took us almost 30 minutes to navigate the confusing terrain. Once we were on the main trail we hiked until we found ourselves in a earthy, red forest. Our biggest error happened when we miscalculated the distance between two intersections on our map and mistakenly thought we were much further ahead then we were. We crossed the river and met a man setting up camp with his dog. We knew that we needed to hike north and cross a second river but the trail and map weren’t lining up. The terrain features quickly became ambiguous and the trail completely disappeared into campground. We eventually came across a woman filtering water and crossed the river there. We completely lost the trail at this point and only had 2.5 hours of sunlight left with well over 6 miles to go - it was going to turn into a night hike. We gave up on the trail and began bushwacking northward until we found yet another stream - this was the giveaway that we were terribly off course. As it would turn out we were surrounded by the stream and needed to u-turn. Crossing the stream again and hiking through thick trees we found the man setting up his tent again and he happily shouted out, “Deja-vu!” which is the last thing any hiker wants to hear when they are lost. He helped us get back on track and we eventually found the trail indicator we needed. With less than an hour of sunlight left and 5 or so miles to go we rehydrated and prepared our headlamps. We would be approaching the bog part of our hike, in which there were of course 2 very crucial intersections, in the dark. To my luck we had a mile worth of bog before the sun set so I was able to figure out the best way to step through them - there is no best way to step through them. By 21:00 we were hiking in complete darkness across the center of the massive valley through swamp grass, thick mud and invisible streams - I was pretty damn scared and completely out of water. The only thing letting us know we were going the right direction was the fact that the mud we were walking through didn’t have grass and the notion that it and must have been formed by hikers. By 22:00 we were on dry land again and ascending up a cool rocky path. I knew we were close to home. Call me over dramatic but I shouted for joy when I shined my PD22 up the trail and a license plate and 2 rear lights reflected back - we had found the damn parking lot. 

Here’s to strapping up your boots and going for it.

Trek On,

Chris

"In the distance we could see a dense forest of evergreens awaiting us."

"It was as if we were walking through prehistoric times."

"For a few miles there was no cover but we could tell we were quickly approaching Rocky Knob by the increasing number of boulders as well as the occasional trail marker."

"Fast-forward two more knobs and we reached what we believed to be THE Rocky Knob mentioned in the literature."

"Aside from basic survival and navigation, he has shown me how to truly live a simple and honest life."

"At the base of the peak we set up shop and rehydrated."

"Once our food had cooked we took our meals up to the top and enjoyed a well-earned lunch ad a breathtaking view."

"Once we were on the main trail we hiked until we found ourselves in a earth, red forest."

"Crossing the stream again and hiking through thick trees we found the man setting up his tent again and he happily shouted out, "Deja-vu! which is the last thing any lost hiker wants to hear."

"To my luck we had a mile worth of bog before the sun set so I was able to figure out the best way to step through them - there is no best way to step through them." 

Country Roads

Dark and dusty, painted on the sky.

     Earlier this week I had the fortune to hike Big Schloss (Great North Mountain) with my good friend, Sean Lacey. Hands down the 13 mile hike was definitely the most beautiful and rewarding hike I’ve done so far. It took about 7 hours to get to the summit but the weather was cool and forgiving and the switchbacks gradual and calm. We only took about 3 breaks and the first one was at a beautiful overlook of West Virginia. A preview of the amazing scene at the top. One thing I have to say about this trail is that it definitely was the most varied trail I have ever hiked. And by varied I mean there where times where I felt we were on a beautiful, rainy pacific northwest mountainside, entering the African savanna, walking through a Narnia of thorns and bees and crossing the abyss of a himalayan mountain. At the summit of the mountain was the most beautiful view I’ve seen to date. From where I sat I could see the intersections of the blue ridge and Appalachian mountains. To my left was Virginia and to my right was West Virginia. To imagine that I was sitting at the single, measurable, physical point marking the end of the trail on my map was something so mind-blowing and surreal to me. My mind is always moving through frames of relativity and perspective (it’s just the way I see things) and I was simply humbled. I fall in love with these mountains each time I hike. As icing on top of the cake, Sean used his pocket rocket (http://www.rei.com/product/660163/msr-pocket-rocket-backpacking-stove) to cook us up a well-deserved lunch of chicken teriyaki and mango chicken with rice. While he did that I adventured around the summit with my DSLR geeking out the gear junkie side of mine. I have to say, my PAG240-1 Pathfinder (http://www.rei.com/product/805931/casio-pathfinder-pag240-1-multifunction-watch) really pulled through. It not only gave accurate compass bearings but it correctly measured our final elevation at a 2,920 ft. Ok, the company-man side of me aside, and my rambling under control, the hike is definitely a hike I will be doing again. A life spent outdoors traveling, learning and experiencing the simple pleasures is a life I am working on achieving and these are the kind of pushes I need to get there. Here’s to chasing your dreams one mountain at a time.

Trek On,

Chris 

"From where I sat I could see the Intersections of the Blue Ridge and Appalachian mountains. To my left was Virginia and to my right was West Virginia."

"Sean used his pocket rocket to cook us up a well-deserved lunch of chicken teriyaki and mango chicken with rice."

"It not only gave accurate compass bearings but it correctly measured our final elevation at 2,920ft.."

"And by varied I mean there were times where I felt we were in a beautiful, rainy pacific northwest mountainside."

"Entering the African Savanna."

"Walking through a Narnia of thorns and bees."

"Crossing the abyss of a himalayan mountain."

These signs kept us going!

I'm a sucker for texture.

"We only took about 3 breaks and the first one was at a beautiful overlook of West Virginia."

     Good grief, I have learned my lesson on rushing things. It’s been too long since I’ve updated this blog and the one night I finally have enough time and energy I accidentally delete my ENTIRE Lightroom catalog/ photos. Definitely didn’t understand what my computer meant by clearing my Lightroom catalog to make space - I still don’t know what that means…Anyways, having meticulously recovered at least these past couple of months, I am going to still try to update this thing. 

     10 days ago I was fortunate enough to celebrate my 23rd birthday with my closest friends at Busboys and Poets in Arlington. Never one for large crowds, let alone large crowds focused on me, I have to say the dinner went by amazingly. It was the overlapping of many different circles of friends and family and, as one of my friends put it, it was “real-life google circles”! Among the guests were my best friend Lillian of whom I have had a love-hate relationship for the past 5 years. She’s seen my at my best and at my worst and has been with me through many an emotional, physical and natural disaster. I couldn’t ask for a better person to keep me frustrated and grounded as her and love her with all my heart. But sometimes I just want to shake the hell out of her. Next was the amazing power couple Jerry and Sonja. Jerry was with me through my photography semester and represented to me the discovery and embrace of the art half of my life. He represented the completely different world of art I had the privilege to live and grow in ultimately shaping me into a braver, bolder gentleman. He is also the responsibility circle of my friends. Work hard, play hard and treat your lady right - you are my #gent for life Jerry Jones! Then there was Sean Lacey! My co-worker, my good friend and my partner in adventure. Sean has shown and taught me not only a huge amount of gear knowledge but has opened my eyes to the world of good honest adventuring. Gone are the days off spent in my house or just sleeping in. If you don’t have anything planned that day get outside and have an adventure or do something for the community. Since meeting him in just these short 3 months I have hiked 4 mountains (one completely at night), spent the day stacking hay and repairing trailers at a farm and manned beer tent at a huge outdoor concert. I learned from Sean the value of being active and giving back. I learned from him the value of living a simple, honest, hardworking life. That there isn’t ever anything to big or too small to be considered an adventure and that there are times where you just need to strap on your boots and “TAP THEM OUT”! Then there was my sister Ivy Te (to the right of me). She’s been with me as long as Lillian has and has always been there to keep my spirits up. Kindred spirits, we have always been able to talk heart to heart through thick and thin and there aren’t many people out there that understand and care about me as much as she does. Always the voice of reason and patience she has helped me with my decisions and has always been there to appreciate my taste in clothes and music haha. If Lillian is the devil, which she is, then Ivy is the angel and I love her to death. My fantastic family was there too! My cousins Kanika, Lisa and Michael were all there. Kanika has become not only a closer cousin and friend to me but she is also my kick-ass-ready-to-rumble BJJ partner in crime! It was because of her and a groupon that we discovered Silverback Academy and that my life has been blessed with BJJ. I really owe her for constantly driving me to go to practice and for always being there to listen to my silly life rants. My life has become more confident, patient and stronger because of BJJ and her. My cousins Lisa and Michael have grown up with me. We went through all of the awkward growing stages and then some but they have always supported me. Even during my fat, geeky, yugioh playing days they would still invite me out to parties and the such and man do I appreciate how patient they were haha! My twin basically, Lisa has gone through college with the same “become a doctor” pressure that I have and, seeing as how neither of us are doctors, I can say she is in the same “omg what am I going to do with my life” boat I am in now. Always there to talk life with me, I love my cousin Lisa to death and would do anything for her. Of course the dinner couldn’t have been complete without my boys (Manisha included)! I grew up with these hoodlums and couldn’t have asked for a better group of guys! I say hoodlum but it’s ironic seeing as how Johnny is my age and already has a master’s degree, several published scientific papers, a girlfriend (yes that’s an accomplishment) and is on his way to becoming an extreme kayaker. Mason just graduated and is already working a salary job for Accenture, is an avid fisher and is a consistant gym rat (and he’s single ladies). Manisha, aside from knowing every exotic dance known to man, is both a teacher and a lab tech all in the meanwhile applying to medical school. Needless to say, one’s character can be seen in the people they choose to surround themselves with and I must say I am blessed to have so many amazing people in my life - they make me look really, really good. I love these people to death and know they will be with me for the long haul. Here’s to a birthday well-spent with people well-loved. 

Trek On,

Chris

"She's seen me at my best and at my worst and has been with me through many an emotional, physical and natural disaster."

"He represented the completely different world of art I had the privilege to live and grow in ultimately shaping me into a braver, bolder gentleman."

"Of course the dinner couldn't have been complete without my boys (Manisha included)!"

"I learned from him the value of living a simple, honest, hardworking life."