Saturday December 21, 2013
11:34

It’s hard to look back through my SMSC photographs and think about how quickly the last 4 months have passed by. 4 months is nothing at all - simply a semester’s time, and yet during those few months it felt like I was part of a different world. I don’t know if it’s a sudden upwelling of premature nostalgia, or a need for final words - closure. But I’d like to quickly recount the last weeks of my time with my SMSC family as well as where my life has taken me since. 

Our finals were comprised of 3 hour long situational questions. However, SMSC isn’t your average semester program and surprised us with situations were we had to go through camera trap photos and create species abundance graphs as well as species present at a carcass data analysis. There was a moment when we needed to pack our things and move to our computer lab and update a GIS map of our campus with new roads. The hands on, out-of-the-box method of teaching SMSC provided is something that made the 4 short months spent there worth years of lab and field experience - and I am forever grateful for that. Our finals week was, however, a bittersweet experience. Not because of the exams themselves but because of their implications. We were quickly and unavoidably getting closer to the end of our semester. As a result every moment of those last two weeks of class were not spent studying or reviewing but were spent together. We played Magic: The Gathering, we watched movies, we made friendship bracelets, we played in the snow, we hiked, we had pizza parties and we snuggled erratically. It was as if  we were’t just holding onto the last moments we had together as a family, but were holding onto to the last moments we had as carefree college students. Before a number of us lay a long and difficult road of job searching, grad school applications and internship hunting. Before all of us lay the selfless, underfunded road of conservation. Through the echoing of the hallways I could hear the voices of the 11 people that had become my family. I thought about our futures and how drastically we all have changed since the first day. I believe it was a coincidence that 12 extremely sentimental people were thrown into the same semester (it’s a fact that other semesters were not nearly as close or awesome as us) and hold it true to myself that it was a miracle (it literally was, ACS’ class was only 5 people which was under the minimum amount of enrollment needed - it was almost cancelled) that we all got to meet each other. 

When our last week finally arrived we were once again thrown into a flurry of activity - it was final presentations and closing week. Having already delivered our group monitoring plan presentation a few weeks ago, we were left with presenting our individual visual essays describing our practicum experiences. It was the first time we were all able to see what our classmates did for their mini-internship. We got to see how much poop scooping, bush-wacking, camera trapping, tree finding, park educating, turtle finding and food prepping we all did. We truly were a class of comedians and made short work of making our practicum advisors, teachers and supervisors cry with laughter. Then came our closing ceremonies. Gathered in the dining hall we had all come to love, we watched as our beloved teachers called us up one by one and explained to us exactly how much they loved us and how much they will miss us. They recounted to us our quirks and sayings, they brought up memories and jokes and did it all in front of us, our families, researchers and visiting conservationists - for each and every one of us. I don’t think I’ve ever smiled, laughed and nearly man-teared so much. These teachers were our friends. They went above and beyond every day to teach us, drive us, feed us and even secret santa with us. Throughout this semester I talked to them as well as several of the researchers as humans. I tried to learn more about their likes and dislikes. Their families and their goals. I saw them all as good, honest, hard working people and not just teachers or supervisors - and it all paid off. I came away from the semester with a group of fantastic people I can call my friends. This came in quite handy when nearly all of them jumped to tell me that they would gladly say good words about me while I was applying for internships. Speaking of which, the last two weeks for me were a flurry of stressful internship applications, emails, contacting and reference hunting. What emerged from all of it was a shiny, new 5 month long internship at SCBI with Dr. McShea! I had done it! I came into this semester with 2 main goals: Learn everything I can possible learn and get a job/internship. Landing that internship was the product of nearly a years worth of hard work and determination. As this blog can attest, I needed this lifeline desperately. As I walked away from Dr. McShea’s office through the campus towards the Residence Hall I thought about the place I would soon be calling home for another 5 months. I thought about how empty the halls were already - my friends leaving in their cars one tearful round of hugs after another. I thought about how we were like god damn dragon balls shooting away all across the world never to be reunited again for a long long time. I thought about how it isn’t the buildings that truly make a place special to you - it’s the people in them. As I walked away from that office my feelings of excitement poured out of my brain and churned with the overwhelming tide of sentiment pouring out of my heart. By the time I found Becca, Jeff and Laurie sitting on the floor of our desolated hallway I was a mess. After helping Becca finish up her packing, Laurie and I exchanged last hugs in our parking lot and watched our two RAs walk back into the now completely empty Residence Hall. It would be only a short time before I would be coming back here - but not for a long time would I be seeing any of them again. 

I had the amazing fortune of meeting Laurie Stubenrauch this semester. She’s a strong-headed, strong-willed, rough and tumble girl from Long Island studying biology in Michigan and I absolutely adore her. What started off as casual late-night study sessions and conversations turned into a wonderful friendship. Fast forward 4 months and I just got back from meeting her parents and friends in her hometown of Huntington, NY. She’s unlike anyone I’ve ever met. To put it plainly and in a nutshell, I’ve never met a girl that so perfectly blends a love of the outdoors, art, music, fashion and sports without the streak of utter bullshittery so many girls nowadays have in them (I mean no offense, unless you are the type of girl I am alluding to, in that case you are absolutely awful). Again and again I find myself realizing how lucky I am to have met a woman like her. We spent the week after our departure from SCBI having a tour de meet-the-parents. She spent 3 days in Virginia meeting my friends and family prior to my visit up north and I must say it was a collision of many of my worlds. Seeing her there in my house eating with my family, seeing her in my room helping sew my worn out jeans, seeing her interacting with my friends and walking with me in Fairfax Corner past my REI - it was all surreal and special. For so long I have discounted my chances of romance. So worn out has my heart and mind been from the terrible relationships that have made up my past. My mind was so set on getting to where I wanted to be professionally I felt I wouldn’t meet anyone, let alone actually pursue a relationship until after I was independent and living on my own. She blindsided me. In our short time together she has inspired in me a new type of hope I haven’t had before. She has encouraged me to believe in myself as well as my dreams. She has shown me that not all is as dark as it seems and that hard work and a little luck is all one ever needs. She has shown me the value of being wild and spontaneous as well as the value of just sitting back and listening to each other exist. But most of all, she has shown me that despite the distance, despite the timing and despite the many many variables of our chaotic futures - there are things worth holding on to. In the words of The Oh Hellos, In Memoriam, “If you leave from the start then there was never love at all”.

It’s been a crazy 4 months of my life. As it all comes to a close I look back at it with a final reflection and think to myself, “it has only begun”.

Here’s to the next step, the next adventure.

Chris

Tuesday November 19, 2013
21:14

It’s hard to believe it’s only been a month since I posted in here. Living out here at SCBI, there’s so much to do that time seems to pass much faster than normal. A couple of weeks ago I had the chance to road trip with Laurie to Boone, NC to visit her friend, Danielle, at Appalachian State University. Hands down, it was one of the best weekend road trips I’ve ever taken. App State is a beautiful school filled with beautiful people. To describe the campus in a nutshell I would say that it was like walking through a ski town (not ski resort, the small towns built into the mountains leading up to the resort - big difference) filled with little mom and pop eateries and outfitters surrounded by mountains and REI magazine models. The women and men were all rough and tumble looking, the air was crisp and you could see the mountains around you. Now there are plenty of schools near mountains but there always manages to be people that don’t care for the outdoors. One of the first things that stuck out to me during out little campus tour was Danielle saying, “Campus is empty because its the weekend and everyone is out camping”. I was pretty much wet and sold at that point. App State was one of the schools I wished I had applied to towards my last years at GMU during my phase of complete regret and depression at my current emotional, physical and educational state. After the campus tour we went for a quick hike up the Hawksbill Mountain Trail. The trail was easy for the most part with a steep incline at the last 50 meter stretch. What was interesting about the hike was the massive amount of Rhododendron aka “Rhododoodoo” lining the path. At the summit we were blown away by a fantastic view of the Blue Ridge spreading endlessly before us. In terms of effort put in vs. summit gained, I haven’t found a hike that can beat this one. The three of us spent easily an hour up there looking at the tree covered mountains and talking to the trail crew. While the girls went off to take selfies by the edges I had the fortune of meeting and talking to Bill Hodge, the director of the Southern Appalachian Wilderness Stewards, while he waited for the rest of his trail crew to reach the summit. We talked about the geography and history of the Linville Gorge Wilderness, native species of Hawksbill Mountain, his career with SAWS and the invasive species monitoring programs SAWS has been working on with the Forest Service. He was a kind, hard working man that I could tell was passionate about his work with the service. The fact that he was also wearing a buff (the PCT map one) made it even easier to connect with him as we talked about my life and work at SCBI this semester. Before we began our descent I made sure to get a card and a firm hand shake from from Bill. We ate lunch at a fantastic burrito joint and spent the rest of the day relaxing in Danielle’s apartment until it was dark enough to emerge into the outdoor, hipster-but-actually-outdoorsy-hipster, craft-beer-fueled college town that is Boone. It was fantastic. The trip culminated in an attempt at an early sunday morning, Cook-Out, a sweet gear consignment shop (i got a patagucci fleece for 40 dolla) and a tight hug from a new friend. It was only a weekend but I was already sad to be leaving Boone. Danielle was a out-of-this-world host and a wonderful person. I’m glad to have met Laurie just to have met Danielle and her future husband, “bearded GIS”. 

This past weekend was a non-stop flurry of colliding worlds and special people. A world of special people colliding if you will. In the spirit of getting things finally off of my bucket list, I collaborated with my good friends Sean Lacey and Mason to set up a car camping trip/ Front Royal/ SCBI tour with all of my NOVA friends. We chose the beautiful Shenandoah River State Park as our destination. It would be the first time a lot of my friends from home have been camping and, considering the time crunch us SMSC guys were on (we were driving back from the National Conservation Training Center in WV), it was a perfect choice. We couldn’t have asked for a better camp site. Gravel floor, big metal fire pit, bathrooms, stream-side view and unlimited pre-packaged firewood!? This was basically glamping. Gathered around the fire that night I couldn’t help but feel this sense of gratitude. Nearly 10 months ago I was sitting alone in my room applying endlessly to USAJOBS, hope dripping out of my fingertips endlessly onto my keyboard. But here, 10 months later I was sitting besides a warm fire (and my schmoking hot lady friend, Laurie) as my closest friends, coworker and classmates shared stories of their lives. It was the collision of three very big parts of my world. In a sudden rush of realization and gratitude I understood how good life for me had become. I understood how important this seemingly simple moment was. How important all of these people were to me. The morning after camping we hiked a quick 5 miles on the Bear Bottom Trail it was a wide, easy hike through a sprawling oak forest. Near the 3 mile mark or so we came across a fantastic view down a deep, long valley. The hike gave me time to catch up with my NOVA friends, show them some trees and explain what life has been like here these 4 short months. I also discovered that my friend Quin is a terrible hiker (haha sorry Quin), you can’t just drop a city boy into a forest. After the hike I took my friends on the grand tour of Front Royal and SCBI. I showed them the town’s historic district, the fantastic Apple House, my dorm at SCBI, some animals, the SI-GEO plot that I work in, the NEON tower and the vistas from Longhill and Race Track Hill. I felt like a SCBI tour guide and have to admit that I loved it. I never realized how much I had learned about the facility and my practicum until I had to condense it all down to be explained to first time visitors. Watching my friends walk through SCBI 1 and 2 was eerie to me at first. These were the people that I grew up with walking through the trees I have come to know and love. So different were the worlds they represented - so strangely did I feel like I was part of both. 

This past Sunday I woke up early and headed to Harper’s Ferry with the Herps to do some stream surveys around Tyler’s farm. We weren’t doing it for any particular reason at all, we were doing it simply to get outside and see what we would find. I love my conservation friends. I’m not sure how long we waded through that chilly stream but just when we thought it was a bust Elliot pulled out this amazing snapping turtle! He/She was too cold to snap at us so we were able to get a lot of good pictures of it. The poor thing had leeches attached to its head. We thought of removing them but knew better than to get that close to its mouth, cold or not it would probably get a finger or two. Our survey took place near a big power line clearing. On the way back to Tyler’s farm I couldn’t help but take a few pictures of the beautiful lines they created between the farm and forest patch habitats. Tyler’s farm is near damn perfect. He has three dogs, several heads of cattle, some sheep, two goats, some rabbits and I’m not even sure what else. I can see why he’s such an early riser as well as why he has such a strong work ethic. I don’t know anyone my age with the kind of hands on (hard ass hell farm work) work ethic, family values, good-hearted kindness (to people he respects) and dedication to science as Tyler (and Elliot). He (they) is (are) certainly one (two) of a kind and I am so grateful to have met him (hims) this semester. At the farm we helped him feed his hoofstock and got to meet his new ram. Who we learned is now finally starting to mate with the sheep. We also got to meet some of his family as well at watch him feed his three dogs. Those three dogs were so well-behaved and eager to be handled that I couldn’t help but kneel down and pet big armfuls of all three of them at once! He has a german shepard, boxer and golden retriever. I only remember the name of the shepard, Babe, because she was a princess and was clearly the matriarch of the trio. 

Things are quickly coming to an end here at SCBI. It’s hard to believe that 4 months could go by so quickly. It’s even harder to believe how close everyone has become to one another. It’s downright unfair to have us all separate so soon, but such is the way of life. Personally, I have been dealing with this moment with a bit of growing anxiety. The whole thing has been amplified with my forcing myself to update my CV and start applying to internships. It’s certainly funny how time, place and people work. So quickly can people attach to one another. So quickly can a certain place be home to so many good moments. I’ve had to deal with moving on many times in my life, I have struggled with it each time. But something that I learned being here this semester (I know this is premature I still have little under a month left) is that we are all part of a ever moving picture. So quickly we are moving across the painted shapes of our earth, from state to state and country to country - we are moving. Be it work, family or school we run into each other for brief moments of time during our lives and then separate again. What I have learned is that, no matter how many times we meet and separate and meet and separate we are always able to hold onto the people that we cannot live without. The world is only so big, the mountains so high and the oceans so vast. To the adventure hearted there is nothing to stop us. When my friends visited me this weekend we took a group picture on top of Longhill that I knew was going to be one of the most important pictures I ever took. Though they lived only an hour away, it represented the power of good friends coming together. In the picture, Longhill represented all of the people that I have met here at SCBI and their collision with my old world. Never before have I been at the edge of such potential as I have been here. Within the next few months I could be anywhere in the world interning. The uncertainty kills me just as my irrational connection to people and places pulls at my heart. But looking at that picture I know that the world isn’t quite so big as I think. I know that if I want to hold onto these people - there isn’t a damn thing that can stop me. 

Here’s to growing, living and loving.

Trek On,

Chris