San Diego, CA
Elevation: 72 ft.
10:07

Creeping out onto the 805 at 23:30 Wednesday night felt almost like we were cheating. Driving at night is always the best - even more so if it is the night before Thanksgiving. The night smoothes everything out. It stretches the road into glass, hides you from the world and the world from you, you are just an arrow gliding through the syrup of space and time. And it smoothes out people too, the music, the energy. Conversation between good friends slide easy and unlabored, unbothered by ego. Just kittens heading to the desert.

*Undisclosed BLM Land, Joshua Tree, CA - iPhone Pro 14*

*Undisclosed Conservation Area, Joshua Tree, CA - iPhone Pro 14*

I had the unbelievable luck of spending this Thanksgiving with some of the gentlest, kindest, patientest, people I know. The plan was simple, spread word of mouth, and minimally overthought - drive to the desert, ride bikes, and eat as many hot dogs as we can.

*Jesus’ Favorite Kittens, Undisclosed Conservation Area, Joshua Tree, CA - iPhone Pro 14*

Two for two now my desert Thanksgivings have been my best ones (I miss Bend and my friends). There is something special about the land, the sun, the plants and animals that make it feel like home. The endless blue sky and the smells that surround you. It brings me peace and calms me - like really calms me. Free from sport ball, free from board games, free from stuffy outfits and the feeling of being trapped under a roof wherein one has committed their life force and time until perhaps the strange escape into midnight Black Friday shopping or sleep frees you.

*Undisclosed Conservation Area, Joshua Tree, CA - Fujifilm X100V*

*Sweet Julia “Jbumpstafari” Hart, Undisclosed Conservation Area, Joshua Tree, CA - Fujifilm X100V*

What I do miss dearly, and can never replace, is the feeling of being with my family. I think about my parents everyday. I think about our dogs, my grandma, our beautiful home and her vegetable garden. I think about my brother and my sweet, loving, wonderful sister-in-law. I think about the aunts and uncles and cousins I grew up with, our neighborhood one huge loving commune. In a perfect world I would drag them all to the beach and to the desert, I would catch sunsets with them each night by warm fires, and I would never be out of a 15 minute drive from them again…But we are all working on things, we are all living through things, and we are all ok. Life is long but also so short. And I don’t know who is going to win this game of who-will-move-to-who chicken. Maybe my 40s will be spent back in Virginia taking care of everyone, or perhaps my parents will spend their Golden Years walking their little pups up and down the cute streets and beautiful beaches of San Diego. Who’s to know?

None of us had ever travelled together, let alone camped overnight in the desert together. But as luck would have it all of our little puzzle pieces fit together perfectly to create the most beautiful picture of a chosen family - unmarred by hidden anxieties, stresses, and under-communicated permeable boundaries. I think it was the first trip of its kind where I ended it feeling more recharged and full than I began.

*Joshua Tree National Park, CA - iPhone 14 Pro*

*The Glizzies, Joshua Tree National Park, CA - iPhone 14 Pro*

*Kittens, Joshua Tree National Park, CA - iPhone 14 Pro*

I think I am getting better at being a single Pringle. I am lucky though. Pouring myself into the things and people that fill my cup is made much much easier living in such a beautiful part of the country. Access to the Pacific Southwest hits very differently after so many years of traveling and living around the country. I feel at home here, I don’t feel the usual pull of the road, the anxious creeping feeling that it might be time to pack up and leave. I have seen a lot and now more than ever I feel like I know what I am looking for. I am still struggling to figure out how make enough to support myself. I am still trying to figure out how to love and be loved in a healthy way…but I think I want to keep doing that here.

*That Face, Joshua Tree National Park, CA - Fujifilm X100V*

*Asein, Joshua Tree National Park, CA - Fujifilm X100V*

*Joshua Tree National Park, CA - Fujifilm X100V*

*Surprise!, Undisclosed BLM Land, Joshua Tree, CA - iPhone Pro 14*

*Campfire Kittens, Undisclosed BLM Land, Joshua Tree, CA - iPhone Pro 14*

Feeling blessed and less distressed.

A hui hou,

Chris

Written to: Blind - Bnny